“eargasms” is fun to say, future wife


I like sounds, love.

Voices. Music. When you pour pancake mix in a hot pan. Contented little mmmmmms.

I like hearing them, and I like making them.

When you’re being super nice to me, I’ll sometimes make happy puppy sounds. It’s moderately less weird than it sounds.

When you’re being a poop, I’ll legit growl. Okay, that one is a bit strange.

Sometimes my stories will require ridiculous sound effects.

When you talk, I’ll take note of the words you choose, but I will listen to the tone, volume and delivery just as much. That’s where some of the best clues and information live.

I’ll hear the wonderful differences when you talk about your family. I’ll hear the excitement when you talk about one of your passions.

I’ll hear everything when you talk about me.

And to me.

I hope you appreciate sounds too, because when I say your name it’ll have kind of a musical quality. Like the vowel sounds are longer, and it has a smitten smile built right in there.

And when you say my name, I just know that you’ll say it in a way that no one has before. I’ll feel the love. And your pet names for me will crush me completely.

But there’ll be times – oh there WILL be times – when I just feel us so much that I won’t have words and I’ll just crinkle my nose and say things like “schmuuuuuuurch*.”

(*Loosely translates to “I just like you so much, soooo much, oh my god, and I would like to make out with you for seventeen hours if you don’t mind. Fourteen hours if you do.”)

Oh, sounds.

I just love them.

They can soothe. They can entertain. They can entice.

They can request. They can thank. They can demand.

Sighs matters.

I look forward to us having a song. I look forward to us making memories with soundtracks.

I look forward to us riding crescendos together, and holding hands during the diminuendos, as we wait for the next lift we know, without doubt, is coming.

There’s this moment in Van Halen’s “Why Can’t This Be Love” that I always sing/say/mumble along with. It’s actually only one syllable.

It’s “Wooo!”

That’s it.


It always makes me smile.

I think about when they were writing the song – not sure if it was the Van Halen bros. or Sammy Hagar – and imagine a moment when they were rehearsing and it hits them…

“This is fucking awesome.”

“We’ve created art.”

And when Sammy was singing, the Wooo! just came out.

I like that.

Any time I write anything, I want that moment. When the result is even better than you expected.

I want that moment in relationships too, but it is so so much rarer.

That moment where you’re just overcome with emotion and gratitude and accomplishment and words can’t say what a simple noise needs you to hear.

That moment when you’ve been writing letters to an idea, and realize the reality could be much, much more.

So some day, after we kiss, and then kiss some more, don’t be alarmed if I take your hand in mine, stare into your eyes, take a deep breath and whisper…




Photo credit: Warner Brothers Records

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