I suspect that he was speaking of having to use early 18th century toilet paper, but I think the quote is applicable to other things too.
For example, it is very disappointing that a lovely and talented actress (who can’t be discussed here) has been snubbed once again by the Emmys. I wasn’t going to even mention it, but a certain commenter brought it up first.
We’ve all had disappointments in our lives. You hire a hooker, it turns out to be a dude. If I had a nickel… You try to make the best of a bad situation, but some days you just can’t drum up the moral flexibility to love that he-she like the woman he/she wants to be.
But, the fact that this nameless actress is snubbed year after year is an absolute outrage. Like the price of gas. Like people voting for Bush… twice! And like when Lauren took Jason back on “The Hills.”
It’s madness, I tells ya.
Sometimes a person must just stand up and —
Oh, I can’t keep up this charade.
There has been another disappointment.
I know that I said that I wouldn’t blog about you know who, but I also decided not to read anything about her or watch anything involving her. You know, just to make sure that I wasn’t tempted.
Yesterday – a mere 19 days after I declared an embargo – I was watching video clips of her.
Screw it… Her name is Lauren Graham, dammit!
Yesterday, as I was making constructive use of YouTube – checking out 80s music videos and grainy videos of celebrity nipple slips – I had an idea. “There must be some video clips of Lauren Graham,” I thought to myself. Myself was a bit hesitant to look for any, knowing full well of my addiction. Then I threatened to slap the “living bejeezus” out of myself. Myself wasn’t having any of that and replied with, “Fuck you. I’ll take your ‘missed a spot shaving’ ass outside and show you what it’s REALLY like.”
Thankfully cooler heads prevailed, and it was decided that only a couple videos would be watched.
Surely just watching a small number of videos wouldn’t launch me into full-blown addiction, right? I can control it. I can quit any time I want.
My eyes are bloodshot. My computer desk is a mess. There are dirty dishes all over the kitchen. I have a full beard and —
Fine, none of that happened. My eyes may have been strained a bit? I’m trying to set a mood here, people!
In my defense, I found some realllllly cute stuff. Like these two from the Ellen show:
Come on? I’m supposed to be able to resist that?
It’s not easy.
But, I am going to try. Really. I’m starting all over again. I just gave back my 19 day chip. I am going to keep plugging away at it. I won’t give in to addiction.
Samuel Johnson also said,” Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance…”