Samuel Johnson once said that, “It is generally known, that he who expects much will be often disappointed; yet disappointment seldom cures us of expectation…”

I suspect that he was speaking of having to use early 18th century toilet paper, but I think the quote is applicable to other things too.

For example, it is very disappointing that a lovely and talented actress (who can’t be discussed here) has been snubbed once again by the Emmys. I wasn’t going to even mention it, but a certain commenter brought it up first.

We’ve all had disappointments in our lives. You hire a hooker, it turns out to be a dude. If I had a nickel… You try to make the best of a bad situation, but some days you just can’t drum up the moral flexibility to love that he-she like the woman he/she wants to be.

But, the fact that this nameless actress is snubbed year after year is an absolute outrage. Like the price of gas. Like people voting for Bush… twice! And like when Lauren took Jason back on “The Hills.”

It’s madness, I tells ya.

Sometimes a person must just stand up and —

Oh, I can’t keep up this charade.

There has been another disappointment.

I backslid.

I know that I said that I wouldn’t blog about you know who, but I also decided not to read anything about her or watch anything involving her. You know, just to make sure that I wasn’t tempted.

Yesterday – a mere 19 days after I declared an embargo – I was watching video clips of her.

Screw it… Her name is Lauren Graham, dammit!

Yesterday, as I was making constructive use of YouTube – checking out 80s music videos and grainy videos of celebrity nipple slips – I had an idea. “There must be some video clips of Lauren Graham,” I thought to myself. Myself was a bit hesitant to look for any, knowing full well of my addiction. Then I threatened to slap the “living bejeezus” out of myself. Myself wasn’t having any of that and replied with, “Fuck you. I’ll take your ‘missed a spot shaving’ ass outside and show you what it’s REALLY like.”

Thankfully cooler heads prevailed, and it was decided that only a couple videos would be watched.

Surely just watching a small number of videos wouldn’t launch me into full-blown addiction, right? I can control it. I can quit any time I want.

Hours later…

My eyes are bloodshot. My computer desk is a mess. There are dirty dishes all over the kitchen. I have a full beard and —

Fine, none of that happened. My eyes may have been strained a bit? I’m trying to set a mood here, people!

In my defense, I found some realllllly cute stuff. Like these two from the Ellen show:

Valentine’s Day

Playing piano

Come on? I’m supposed to be able to resist that?

It’s not easy.

But, I am going to try. Really. I’m starting all over again. I just gave back my 19 day chip. I am going to keep plugging away at it. I won’t give in to addiction.

Samuel Johnson also said,” Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance…”

Know-it-all prick.

0 thoughts on “Disappointments

  1. It took me a moment to realize that you weren’t talking about my close friend, Kukka-Maria. She’s an actress as well and dare I say highly addictive – quite similar to your Lauren Graham in fact.

  2. Too late, Peter. My girlfriends and I are laughing at you. It’s over. Now, just to get your heart off the bottom of my shoe.

  3. Do you live for Gilmore Girls reruns?

    This has got to be one of the best paragraphs I’ve ever read:

    But, the fact that this nameless actress is snubbed year after year is an absolute outrage. Like the price of gas. Like people voting for Bush… twice! And like when Lauren took Jason back on “The Hills.”

    Nicely done, sir.

  4. “a certain commenter”

    Oh my gosh, I’ve never been mentioned before. I feel like I should say something. But it’s Tuesday and the show starring the person whose name you mentioned but are trying not to mention is on.

    Maybe instead of making it a complete break, you could just reward yourself after going without for so many days. A little positive reinforcement. Just a thought.

    Do I dare link you to a site that has a video of every appearance she’s ever done? Or do I save that for another 19 days.

  5. zeus: Kukka-Maria is all kinds of mrrrowwwrrr too, eh?

    LG: Why must you taunt me so?

    Sara: Thanks! And I do indeed enjoy me some re-runs. Though I have been avoiding them recently. I can’t let myself buy the DVD sets. that would just be bad news.

    Other Sara: Every… appearance? *plunk*

    Nikki: Someone with an anti-“you know who” agenda got inside my head. Diabolical!

  6. sara: Oh my… I just… The words… And…

    I’m going to need a moment.

    I love this almost as much as the screen cap I once saw of LG wearing cute girl glasses in an episode. And it is impossible to find that picture now.

  7. If I love you back I just want you to know that I’m not putting aside my own Gilmore watching obsession just so you can work your way back to the 19 day chip.

  8. I wrote about the sad, untimely end of Gilmore Girls today, too. Not because of any Lauren Graham fetish per se, but still… I feel your anguish.

  9. Fact: I have a strange obsession with reading posts written on my birthday. I also turn to calendars in stores to see if I like the picture for August. If I don’t like it, I’m extremely disappointed.

    Fact: I’m only starting to now realize how much you love Lauren. I am worried.

    Fact: I’m going to stop stalking you now.

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