conversations with me that aren't real (maybe) but very well could be

“You’re pretty cute.”

“I really am, right?”

“Hmm. You’re not worried that saying that will make you seem… less cute?”


“Some people could see it that way.”


“What if I am one of those people?”


“Did you just psssh me?”


“Where does this ego come from?”


“Are you paying attention to me?”


“Have you heard a word I’ve said?”

“Sure. You said I’m cute.”


“I hate you.”

“Yeah, that’ll happen sometimes.”

“This… doesn’t bother you?”

“Naw. Not really.”

“I find that infuriating.”

“Well, sure. I can see how that would be the case.”

“Do people want to punch you in the face often?”


“You don’t consider changing your behaviour.”


“Why not?”

“I’m hard to stay mad at.”

“I am starting to doubt that claim.”

“OK. Oh, before I forget, saw you were running low on your favourite ice cream, so I bought you one. Then I bought you another one.



“We’re still fighting.”

“Oh. OK.”

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Uhm… Grrrr. I’m SO angry.”

“Fuck. You’re a pain in the ass.

“I’ve heard that before…”

“Well, so you know, the sex shop is closed.”

“There’s a sex shop?”

“I mean me! You’re not getting any. ANY. And I am dressing up for this event tonight. HOT. Dark purple flowing cocktail dress. And when I get home, don’t be asking for sex.”



“I won’t.”

“YOU won’t be looking for sex?”

“No, I mean, I’m not going to ASK for it…” Ironic wink

“You. It’s just– Fucker…”

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