1- Serena van der Woodsen – Freak of nature. Come ON.
2- Lily van der Woodsen – I hope that she keeps her hair in a bun whilst in the boudoir. She’s a MrrrrowwwrrrrrrrrILF.
3- Vanessa Abrams – I… just think she’s prrretty.
4- Dorota – Seems like she comes from sturdy Eastern European stock. And she looks like she wouldn’t shy away from a riding crop. Mmmm hmmmm.
5- Hazel – Every list needs a cute little tete rouge.
6- Blair Waldorf – Not feeling the head bands.
7- Nate Archibald – He’s got kind eyes.
8- Penelope – She looks like the type that will do you in your Ford F-150, then steal your wallet, and leave a naked picture of herself on your phone. Come to think of it, why isn’t she higher on this list?