Blog-sessed

Last night I had a dream about my blog.

It was wearing a little black lacy get-up and…

Okay, not really.

Still, I think that I may be getting a little blog obsessed here, people.

In my dream I organized a group of bloggers to take part in a blog experiment. We were going to each write a section of some multi-part story and post them on our own blogs.

Not sure how it turned out because I was distracted by some mysterious brunette lass.

Well, at least I’m not so blog-sessed that her feminine wiles were wasted on me.

Even so, I spend a lot of time in the blogisphere.

One of the first things I do every morning is go to Bloglines. (Of course I go to gmail first. Come on.)

Before I eat or shave or anything, I check what you goofs have blogged about.

Truth be told, it doesn’t take much to get me to put off shaving. Get beaten with a sack of doorknobs… Or shave… Tough call.

Unfortunately for you, I am one of those annoying bloggers that is always asking things like, “Why do I blog?” Or saying things like “Man, my posts have sucked lately!” Or “I am so blog-blocked.” Or, “She’s not a slut, she’s just misunderstood!”

I often wonder if I was an anonymous blogger, would I be more free with what I wrote? Would I stop giving a shit and just let it all hang out?

There is something about having my name on my blog that makes me put more thought into things. It is just like when Flava Flav screened the girls for the second season of “Flavor of Love” personally. Or something.

“NO MORE GOLD DIGGERS!!”

Granted, there are lots of bloggers that use their real names and just don’t seem to give anything resembling a fuck about what people think.

Tony Pierce — of whom I’m a big fan — just does his thing.

Tucker Max — who I don’t completely enjoy — certainly isn’t concerned about what people think.

Plus, they get a buttload of traffic. I get *cough* slightly fewer visitors.

Though maybe there is a direct relationship between not giving a fuck and getting an assload of traffic. Probably involving madness like “traffic = exp(giving a fuck)” or something else that gives me a headache to even consider.

I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t trust anyone without a blog. What are they hiding?

Not sure if I’d want to date a woman who shared personal stuff on her blog though.

“Why does Peter insist on wearing his baseball cap to bed?!? That shit ain’t right! And why does he keep referring to me as ‘Lauren Graham?’ Freak.”

Some things should stay in the boudoir, ya feel me?

I’ve also been thinking that maybe I need an intern for my blog. (Or a blogtern?)

The blogtern can write on days when I have nothing interesting to say. Like today. The blogtern can track down new and interesting blogs for me to read. Cause, you know, I definitely need more of them.

I honestly don’t know how I’ve gotten this far without a blogtern.

The blogtern could free me up to do important things, like writing, reading, commenting…

And, of course, watching reruns of “Flavor of Love 2.”

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10 Responses

  1. purplestew says:

    more importantly your blogtern would free you up to do a v-log of your interpretive dance.

  2. themikestand says:

    Count me in on any blog experiment. Blogstipation is terribly infectious. At least the winter blahs are nearly behind us (he said, hopefully).

  3. Stefanie says:

    I have had dreams about my blog (and about other bloggers and their blogs), but I have never considered getting a blogtern. Clearly your addiction (bladdiction?) is stronger than mine.

    Hi, by the way. Been lurking for a bit (since JN sent me over via a comment on my blog), but I don’t think I have commented yet.

  4. Eve says:

    I’ve been blog-blocked lately. It sucks.

    But I too am obsessed. It’s weird, because people I’ve known for years read my blog, but I’m too shy to let others know that I have one. There’s something about having your name attached to it though, it makes it more meaningful, I think. Otherwise you could just make shit up.

  5. jazz says:

    i’d be interested in what new stuff would show up here if this were an anonymous blog.

    although, i’m sure it’d have the same amount of ACN around, that’s for sure

  6. The Stormin Mormon says:

    Lauren Graham is cute. She shouldn’t feel threatened…

    Your blog is cool because of WHO you are. The ACN, your Pete-Chicks, and that damn hat…

    It all coalesces to be one fun place to stop by. Without that it wouldn’t be the same,

  7. Erika says:

    Perhaps being blog-blocked, much like the flu, is something that’s just going around. See, even this comment is a bit [ok, a lot] on the boring side.

  8. Peter says:

    purplestew: Good point! I am probably going to have to figure out what interpretive dance actually is at some point. Naaaaaw.

    themikestand: The warm weather is scaring me a bit, man. I feel like we still have another huge blizzard coming. Though I typically feel that way until mid-July.

    stefanie: Thanks for visiting! And I’m glad you commented. My bladdiction is pretty serious. Do they make a patch for it, I wonder.

    eve: Very interesting point. It’s weird, many of my real-life peeps know nothing about the blog. And I’m in no rush to tell them.

    jazz: I’d be interested in that too. today’s post makes me think that it could take a while for me to feel comfy with just letting shit fly.

    stormin’: You had me at Lauren Graham. And thanks, man! I genuinely appreciate the kind words. And good luck with making your pending job choice.

    erika: I totally understand. I feel like even my comments have been sucking lately.

  9. Eve says:

    So, how do we get out of the blogdrums? We need a game or something…

  10. Sediqa says:

    Man i’m so totally feelin you on this one. Everything i have is catered for an audience. Having a mundane thought has become impossible. They’re all outrageous.

    Also i was walkin in th mall. A guy smiled at me and i couldn’t help wonderin if he reads my blog and recognises my face.

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