beyond smitten

“Sometimes I think I know what I want… I see you in that ridiculous wool cap that you knit yourself… You know the one? The colour is very… 70s couch upholstery. But I adore it. I do… And I’m beyond smitten with that one strand of hair that always hangs down. Always always. So I’m sitting there, wanting desperately to pay attention to every syllable that is blessed enough to spend even a few seconds in your mouth, but I’m staring… I’m staring at the shiny bit of hair goodness. You brush it aside, mid-sentence, and I gasp. Not audibly. I’m too cool for that. Maybe. I give my head a little shake and look in your eyes. I want to remember every word you say to me. Every one. Because it’s you. You know? But I’m looking in those eyes… Those fucking eyes… And for some reason I think that this must be what people felt like the first time they saw colour TV. I mean, before that they had seen TV — and I had seen eyes — but… not really. Does that make any sense? I feel like I’m rambling. So I try to look away from your eyes… just for a second… just to regain something resembling my composure… so I look at your mouth. Maybe that will help me focus, I think. But during a pause in your story, you bite your soft lower lip a little. Just a little. I’m almost afraid it hurts. Then a little smile. Your top lip almost seems to stick on your teeth for a second, but then the smile gets bigger. It’s almost like you didn’t realize how happy you were. It snuck up on you. And me. And maybe you’re asking me questions at this point, but I don’t know. The hair strand moves again when you laugh. Your eyes shine. My palms sweat. You “OH!” because you remember a detail of the story that you just absolutely need for me to know and you touch my arm — hit it, actually. I look at my arm, then at you… You are talking faster now. And I am smiling and… Yeah. sometimes you just know what you want want.”

“And what do you want?”

“Blow job!”

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16 Responses

  1. Hahahahaha stop doing this to me! I’m all “Awww Peter is being so adorable again…” and then you flip it around. Grrr.

  2. I was absolutely loving it, until the last line – that kind of was so… I don’t have a word for it..

  3. Meghan says:

    Hahahahaaaa. Loves it.

  4. Catherine says:

    aaaaaaaaand here I’m reminded that Peter is still a guy.

  5. Sid says:

    My late boss’ initials were BJ. Everytime I looked at our workplans and noticed that a certain task wasn’t done because it was “waiting on BJ”, I’d giggle my ass off. I’m going to hell, aren’t I?

  6. Ashalah says:

    Peter. Just, go read Jenn’s comment again and you have what I wanted to say.

  7. calypso says:

    I’m very glad that last line was there. Gives the story, depth. [?] No. Variety. Yeah! Leaves you scowling and giggling at the same time.
    Best male blog I’ve read.

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