answers 4 questions

Katie asked:

Do you pick your nose when you’re in your car? (if you say no then you’re lying! because everyone does.)

See, I don’t get this.  A car is just lousy with windows, so how could someone feel like they are alone?  I think that if you are really going to clean house, you need some actual privacy.  You wanna be someplace where there should be no one else around.  Like a seedy hotel room.  Or a Dane Cook show.

What is the one, single food that you would never give up?

French fries.  It is also a bad idea to try to steal one off of my plate.  A VERY bad idea.

Do you have in relatives in jail?

Currently? My grandfather was a jailor and used to lock us in cells when we were kids.

You like Ninjas or Pirates better?

Ninjas.  It’s the uniforms.  Black is slimming.

JenBun thought that she was on a first date, and speed:

What is your middle name?

Hotepsekhemwy.

Did you lie in your answer to the question above?

Nope.

What is Cap’n Crunch’s real name?

Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch.  Doesn’t everyone know that?

Why are you so awesome?

I actually minored in “awesome” in college.  (I majored in “smug prick.”)

How many women dressed as men to serve in the Civil War?

125.

How cold is it there?

Ehh.  Not so bad.

What’s your favorite song?

Currently Bruce Springsteen’s “Atlantic City.”

Or “Puff the Magic Dragon.”

How many people have you had sex with? (Ie, what’s your “number”? P )

Perv!

Assuming approximately 3 minutes per play, how many years of your life do you think you’ve spent listening to the song “Stay”?

A year and a half.

Anything else?

Women should never refer to any part of their body as a “cooter.”  Cooter is the dude that owns the garage on “The Dukes of Hazzard.”  Ladies, is this the image you want me to have in my head while I am trying to charm you out of your Spanx:

cooter

MissE is wondering:

Who would win – cavemen or spacemen?

Cavemen.  Spacemen would be too afraid to rip their shiny silver suits in a good donnybrook.

How many hats should one man own and why?

Dozens! Wearing them is like hugs for your noggin. Plus I haven’t owned a comb since I was 12.

What was the worst movie you ever had to sit through and why didn’t you leave?

Now I refuse to finish movies that I hate.  I’ll walk out.  Or if some evil woman is making me watch one with her, I’ll just fall asleep.  But I once finished ‘Dr. T and the Women.’   Horrible.  Fuck you, Robert Altman.

And I’m with JenBun – why are you just so damn awesome?

Who is to say, really?  But perhaps we should not look a gift awesome in the awesome mouth.

Pastel Guy is feeling a little curious too:

Do you try to be off the wall, or does it come naturally?

1) I am not much on “trying.”  You know, in general.

2) “Off the wall?”  OUTRAGE!

What do retired rock n roll stars do all day?

Retired models.

If I met you in the middle of Quetico, what would you be doing?

BBQing moose burgers.

What do you want to be doing 20 years from now?

Retired models.

Ok, now what do you really think you’ll be doing 20 years from now?

Writing about my time with retired models.

Classy. What’s the first image that comes to mind with this word?

Ron Burgundy.

blueisgrey wantstoknow:

What’s your favorite color?

Red.

What’s your favorite number?

10.

What is your ideal vacation and with who?

Anywhere with a locking door with Lauren Graham.

Is there life after death? What sort of life would that look like?

Yes.  Everything is in claymation.

Does religion do more harm to the world than intended?

Yes.  Does it do more good than many realize?  Yes.

Do you believe the idea of a intelligent designer?

Donna Karan seems pretty sharp.

Essentially Me went the aggressive route:

Who do you think you are?

Just a boy, typing infront of a girl, asking her to… ignore the fact that he is referencing a movie from the 90s.

What gives you the right?

NAFTA.

sid is trying to make me think:

Is there anything at all that scares you about growing old?

I don’t like prunes.

If you won $20 million what would you do with the cash?

Retired mod — Uhm.   Make sure that my family is financially set.  And then just write all the time.

What do you think of women who make the first move?

Yay!

Hope has questions too:

I’d like to know why I wasn’t included in your list of bloggers who are asking questions?

Racism.

What’s your worst habit?

Megalomania.

AuburnKat wants to know where baby blogs come from:

Why do you think that “sometimes sex, should be a two way street”? Why not all the time? HAHA

This may shock you, but sometimes I say silly things for my own general amusement.  No, it’s true!

Why did you start blogging?

My girlfriend at the time — a terrible, terrible impatient woman — was getting sick of 2000 word e-mails from me about why Bon Jovi’s “New Jersey” is a vastly underrated album. 

Essentially Me has been into the egg nog and forgot that she already asked questions:

Why is it not snowing on your blog? All other wordpress blogs seem to have falling snow.

My blog is too cool to be a follower.  It leads.  It always leads.

Or I hit, or forgot to hit, some button.

Beth gets my attention by asking a hockey question:

What do you think the Lightning can do to get out of this horrible slump?

Re-build.  Trade all the high-priced guys and build around Stamkos. Though they are probably screwed for as long as they have meddling owners. 

Whats the one thing that really pisses you off? I mean the one thing that you get annoyed about but everyone else thinks you’re overreacting?

Meddling hockey owners.  And Family Guy.

GRRRRRRR.

I love you all, to varying degrees, for asking questions.

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No Responses

  1. deutlich says:

    10 is a lame number. 22 is way better

  2. E.P. says:

    I cannot believe your grandfather used to lock you in cells when you were a kid. Did he do this when you were bad? Or was it a fun thing?

  3. Peter DeWolf says:

    deutlich: I am going to go ahead and pretend that you didn’t just say that.

    E.P.: Since I was never anything but a delightful child, I am going to assume it was a fun thing. I did, however, learn how to make a shiv out of cobwebs and spit.

  4. Carmen says:

    I can’t believe you “quoted” Notting Hill… and I can’t believe I knew which movie you were quoting… High Grant (when he is not doing hookers in a car) makes me happy…

  5. Antonella says:

    I hate you. I was busy studying and I missed the invitation to ask you something. Argh! :( “sucka”

  6. JenBun says:

    That wasn’t so bad, for a first date…

    Wait… are your pants still on?!?

  7. Katie says:

    so you never said if you pick your nose or not? ;)

  8. dmb5_libra says:

    i feel the same way about french fries. ask deutlich.

  9. Beth says:

    Thank you for answering. I agree on your point about the meddling owners….specifically Len Barrie. He needs to go. Brian Lawton too. Makes the days of Feaster/Tortorella look like a dream.

  10. MissE says:

    Stealing fries from someone else’s plate? That, Peter, is why they arm you with a fork at dinner – to defend your food! As far as I’m concerned, if you wanted fries, you should have bloody well ordered some yourself!

    And thank you for answering my questions. I’m happy to say I’ve never seen “Dr T and the women” but confess to having sat through “Showgirls.” I’m still not sure why. And if I wanna look in awesome’s mouth I darn well will! …hmmmmm… that sounded far better in my head.

  11. AuburnKat says:

    You are quite the guy…

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