and

and she listed
in increasing detail
everything
she didn’t
and doesn’t
like about me
i could picture her
unspooling a paper version
filling the floor
to my ankles
to my knees
and she listed
things i expected
things
probably cruel
and i said
i don’t care
and she stopped talking
and i started smiling
i wasn’t trying to be mean
promise
and she looked like
a penguin
trying long division
and i laughed
and she raged
and i apologized
but the smile of my voice
made her madder
and i wanted
to try to fake
somberness
question mark
i wanted to
be more
respectful
but the realization
had hit me
like a giddy late night makeout session with a girl i’ve wanted to kiss for soo long with dark hair, kinda messy, and tucked behind ears that hear what i mean in what i say and what i don’t, and eyes that, to me, feel like they really only come to life when they settle on me and a smile that could cure seasonal affective disorder if it could be harnessed, but it can’t be harnessed, it shouldn’t be harnessed, but it is framed by lips that i can imagine everywhere doing everything dirty and naughty and pure and perfect and never enough yet exactly what i need every day forever
i don’t care
i sang the words in my head
in my eyes
in my soul
i stood up
i think she
added that moment
to the list
but mentally
i was already halfway
down the street
smiling at a stranger
buying a slice of pizza
pepperoni
of course
a spring in my step
in my grin
in my hopes
i apologized
through a smirk
it was
the best
i could do
i turned to leave

and she grabbed my arm

You may also like...

9 Responses

  1. Lauren says:

    I really like this one. I can picture it.

  2. Doniree says:

    making up is the fun part.

  3. Wendryn says:

    I like this – it’s just the willingness to walk away. I’ve been there a couple of times and in some ways it’s a relief to just start moving forward again.

    I’m possibly reading too much personal experience into it.

  4. Alexia says:

    Dude, stop it, you’re making me love everything you’re writing these days. In particular I heart the extra long line. And the bit about her grabbing you when you leave. Why is that always the case?

  5. Felisa says:

    “and she looked like
    a penguin
    trying long division”

    Haha I read this line and had to read it over and over again. I could picture it all too well :)

  6. Gage says:

    Really like this… I didn’t see them making up at the end…in fact this got me all excited for his freedom…so I picture him shaking her off his arm… and continuing out the door.

  7. Amanda says:

    I’m not into the sexual stuff as much, as I’ve said, but to contrast what *does* speak to me – the frustration, the miscommunication, the happy, the sad, the poignant, the yearning – that stuff is powerful, and this makes me think of stuff like that. Nice work, Peter.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *