An open letter to a glass of water…

Dear glass of water that I drank this morning,

Wow. Where do I even start?

You know me, water. I’ve never met a hyperbole – or half-Asian woman – that I didn’t like, but I feel that I can safely say that you were the most satisfying glass of water in the history of hydrogen and oxygen getting together.

I don’t know if it was the early morning lighting… Or perhaps it was Stevie Nicks & Don Henley’s 1981 classic “Leather & Lace” playing softly off in the distance…

I just don’t know.

I’ve drank a lot of water in my time. But, it’s never felt… like this.

Never.

Sure, I was thirsty. That goes without saying. But, I’ve been thirsty before.

A big part of it was that I just didn’t see it coming, you know? It felt like any other day. It felt like any other glass of water.

I was so naive.

Your temperature was just perfect. Cold. You were causing just the tiniest trace of condensation on the outside of the glass. Not so much as so that it would leave a ring on the countertop. Just enough to tease.

You little minx.

And the flavour… my word. Clearly the Brita filter is like a push-up bra for water’s taste.

Mick Jagger complained that he couldn’t get no satisfaction. (But, he tried, and he tried, apparently.) He was just looking in the wrong place.

Henry David Thoreau once said about water that it “is the only drink for a wise man.” He was also opposed to paying taxes. I like the cut of this cat’s jib.

The only downside of our time together this morning, dear water, is that it had to end. And not only because there was a finite amount of water in that huge glass, but because I haven’t been able to properly breathe through my nose in over a decade and nearly choked trying to drink you all in.

It was worth it.

I-I… love you.

Yours,
Peter

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  1. Maggie says:

    “…like a push-up bra for water’s taste.” I never thought I read that sentence in my lifetime. Hilarious.

  2. Peter says:

    Margaret: Thanks! I love going for sentences that people never thought they’d see. Of course, the results are often mixed at best.

  3. James Cooper says:

    One of these I need to make a trip to a pristine glacier, break off a small piece, allow it to melt, and then drink it slowly. After all the commercials I’ve seen telling of delicious glacial water I imagine the experience will be awesome.

  4. Kukka-Maria says:

    I’ve always put actual push-up bras on my water glasses. I never thought of using a Brita filter.

    Probably would be easier…

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