Occasionally someone will ask me:
“Peter, why do you think that you are so great?”
To which I’ll invariably reply:
“Because I’m fucking delightful, you asshole.”
However, another answer could be:
“Blame my parents.”
You see, when I was but a wee tyke, my folkses put this picture up in our living room.
Yes, the little dude with the flowing blonde locks is me.
And, though you can’t tell from this pic, the photo is a hair under 3 feet x 3 feet. So, yeeeeah, it’s a pretty big photo.[As an aside I should mention that there was never any glass in the frame. My parents knew that somehow, if there was, someone would get their head chopped off. Good call by them as that sucker came flying off the wall many a time.]
This photo was placed in the middle of the living room wall, near a light source, and 8 feet from a picture window overlooking the main street in my town.
And we never, ever closed those curtains.
I’ve seen huge museums that didn’t do as good a job of showing off a piece.
And by “huge museums,” I mean moderately sized art galleries.
And by “moderately sized art galleries” I, of course, mean 25 cent back-alley peep shows.
One girl I took home in high school stared transfixed at it the first time she was at the house. I asked her what the deal was. She told me that she had seen this photo so many times driving by in her life that she always wanted to know who was in it. (I don’t remember if solving the mystery, and me being the famous picture kid, was enough to convince her to let me touch her goodies…)
My sister lived in jealousy of the photo for so long that when she got her high school grad picture, she had to get one quite a bit bigger than my grad pic. It must have been cold there in my shaaaadow.
When I was a kid, my grandparents lived across the street from me. It was a great haven away from my sister, chores or food that I didn’t want to eat. (Which was, essentially, anything healthy.)
So, you would think that it would also be great for getting away from that picture. Except for the fact that as soon as you entered their living room, and looked above their TV, there hung the same picture. The same size and everything.
The only difference was that it was in colour, so it REALLY caught the eye.