about me #4…

Occasionally someone will ask me:

“Peter, why do you think that you are so great?”

To which I’ll invariably reply:

“Because I’m fucking delightful, you asshole.”

However, another answer could be:

“Blame my parents.”

You see, when I was but a wee tyke, my folkses put this picture up in our living room.

Yes, the little dude with the flowing blonde locks is me.

And, though you can’t tell from this pic, the photo is a hair under 3 feet x 3 feet. So, yeeeeah, it’s a pretty big photo.

[As an aside I should mention that there was never any glass in the frame. My parents knew that somehow, if there was, someone would get their head chopped off. Good call by them as that sucker came flying off the wall many a time.]

This photo was placed in the middle of the living room wall, near a light source, and 8 feet from a picture window overlooking the main street in my town.

And we never, ever closed those curtains.

I’ve seen huge museums that didn’t do as good a job of showing off a piece.

And by “huge museums,” I mean moderately sized art galleries.

And by “moderately sized art galleries” I, of course, mean 25 cent back-alley peep shows.

One girl I took home in high school stared transfixed at it the first time she was at the house. I asked her what the deal was. She told me that she had seen this photo so many times driving by in her life that she always wanted to know who was in it. (I don’t remember if solving the mystery, and me being the famous picture kid, was enough to convince her to let me touch her goodies…)

My sister lived in jealousy of the photo for so long that when she got her high school grad picture, she had to get one quite a bit bigger than my grad pic. It must have been cold there in my shaaaadow.

When I was a kid, my grandparents lived across the street from me. It was a great haven away from my sister, chores or food that I didn’t want to eat. (Which was, essentially, anything healthy.)

So, you would think that it would also be great for getting away from that picture. Except for the fact that as soon as you entered their living room, and looked above their TV, there hung the same picture. The same size and everything.

The only difference was that it was in colour, so it REALLY caught the eye.

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  1. Peter says:

    Ha! Is it THAT bad of a post?

  2. Erika says:

    Pete, you realize you had a mullet right?

  3. Airam says:

    Well look at you in that pic! How cute! I’d show it off too.

  4. kelsi says:

    i really think this would warp a child. but i LOVE the bit about the girl who’d been passing your house for years. somehow, i’m thinking there wasn’t a lot of sexin’.

  5. Peter says:

    erika: That is a filthy lie! Libel!! That haircut is simply what happens when a kid won’t sit still in a barber’s chair. They cut what they can and just hope not to nick an ear… a second time.

    airam: Thank you!

    (For those of you keeping score:

    airam: +1
    erika: -1000

    kelsi: DID warp a child. And did you just doubt the charm of high school Peter? For shame!

  6. kwarterlifecrisis says:

    I know I’ll rack up a score of -1000 for this, but I’m with erika. That is so totally a mullet. And also, that part about the girl who used to drive by and see the picture? That’s hilarious.

  7. Peter says:

    kwarterlifecrisis: Et tu? -1001 points! (I am really going to have to keep track of these scores.)

  8. Amy says:

    OK, I read this yesterday and I’m still bothered by the fact that there is a picture without glass hanging in your parent’s living room. That’s just wrong! Please speak to your mom about this. Tell her you know of a really great shop that does picture framing about 1/2 an hour or so away.

    And as far as Erika’s comment goes, don’t listen to her. She claims that the nephew she and I share has a mullet as well(and his hair isn’t as long as yours in that photo). She is wrong!

  9. Peter says:

    amy: Don’t be too concerned, said picture is currently hanging down in the bowels of a basement now. Thankfully. (My grandfather made the frame, I believe.)

    And you are right, Erika could not be wronger!

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