"A Man Has Got to Know His Limitations."

A wise man once said that.

It was Dirty Harry Callahan.

Or maybe it was Vanity Smurf.

I don’t know.

Either way, it is all sage and junk.

I am aware of the fact that I have an addictive personality. I’ve known it for years.

It is why I never allow myself to bet on sports. And why I very rarely do lines of coke off of a hooker’s breast.

I even kicked a 16″ pizza a day habit. And THAT wasn’t easy.

But, I have another addiction, dear friends. One that plagues me so. I keep it at bay for a while, but invariably it comes raging back at me.

You see, I’m addicted to gadgets.

Whew. It feels good to get that out.

Like a weight has been lifted, you know?

I had been doing well as of late. But yesterday the incomparable Jazz posted and mentioned a Blackberry.

Devil woman.

I felt that familiar twitch. The room became just a little warmer. The cravings were starting.

Friends and family will say things like “You don’t really need that, Peter.”

Need? NEED.

What does “need” have to do with anything.

They are a bunch of sillies.

My gadget addiction has been likened to some women and how they feel about shoes.

However, until you can check your gmail and update the starting line-ups for fantasy sports teams on a stiletto slingback, I’m not feeling it.

Like most recovering (sort of) addicts, I’ve tried to give myself over to something bigger than myself.

I chose a carpenter that was born many years ago. A man with wild ideas and unruly hair. Someone who is misunderstood by many, while adored by others. And yes, obviously, this man is…

My Uncle Vernie.

Though I don’t think that newfangled gadgets are exactly in his wheelhouse.

I suspect that his reply would be, “What the fuck is a Raspberry? Do you talk to young ones on it?”

I suppose that I’ll have to face this challenge on my own.

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  1. Amy says:

    A 16″ pizza a day, but can you eat a whole pizza in one sitting? I can, (a vegetarian one ofcourse). Even after all these years, my own mother can’t believe her eyes every time she sees me do it.

  2. Mood Indigo says:

    Blackberry is to Pete as Uggs are to Megan (with rationale like this I don’t know how I possibly bombed the GMAT)

  3. Peter says:

    amy: Typically I’d save one slice for breakfast the next day, but, yeah, I could totally polish off a full one.

    megan: You… me… *Pete points to Megan’s head and then his own.*

  4. jazz says:

    it’s not as fun as you think. too many decisions.

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