a little dating advice for the ladies
As you get older, a couple of things happen.
1) Your hair gets a little grey. (And by “a little grey,” I mean that some mornings your pillow looks like you had a vigorous, yet respectful, threesome with Anderson Cooper and Paula Deen.)
2) You gain a bit of wisdom about relationships.
I have a relationship theory. I actually have a few, but for the sake of saving some blog fodder for future posts, I am going to tell you one.
“A lot of people start out looking for the wrong type of person.”
These are often the same people who keep wondering why their relationships never last.
I’ve done it. I’ve gotten involved with women who were TERRIBLE fits for me. And I did it while simultaneously writing on my blog about an “ideal” girl who actually would have been a great fit for me. (And is!)
For the sake of this post, I’m mainly going to focus on SOME women looking for the wrong types of guys. Mostly because the majority of my readers are women. (But partially because I figured I could make more jokes this way.)
Over the years I have had a lot of female friends asks for advice on guys.
My standard, only half-kidding, replies are:
Avoid dating men who own more than five pairs of shoes in warm locales or six in cold.
Avoid dating men who shave anywhere below the neck. (Ron Swanson agrees!)
Avoid dating men who own an iron!
But sometimes I want to just ask if they really think the guy they’re describing seems like a good fit to them. It is often the same thing when I read blog posts about what single women are looking for in a man.
Date someone who is a good fit for you, not your favourite “type.”
I don’t understand some of the things on their lists:
Financial ambition. Having a high-paying job doesn’t necessarily equal being ambitious. Just like how having little money doesn’t show a lack of ambition. Maybe he’s a starving artist, or works for a non-profit. And those hyper-driven business types are the guys that you complain about to your friends at happy hour because, “All he does is work!”
Men with fashion sense. Really? Who cares? And do you really want to share closet space?
Instead, women should look for things like:
Guys that check as many boxes on this list as possible: 20 Pieces of Advice for Women About Men.
My advice is to look for a guy who is a good, complimentary fit for you. Not someone who is a good fit for the fourteen year old girl who first dreamed up your fantasy man.