20 pieces of advice for women about men

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74 Responses

  1. Nic Lake says:

    Love this. Absolutely love it.

  2. Eleni Zoe says:

    Sometimes when I read your posts, I’m all, “Yes, yes, yes!” And then I’m like, “Wait. Does a guy like that actually exist?”

    • Peter DeWolf says:

      Obviously no guy is perfect. And even the good ones have bad days.

      But you know that guys like this exist.

      And you’re waiting for yours.

      Even though some days he seems to be taking way too long to get there.

      • Cali says:

        Yeah I’m with Eleni. It sounds great but I don’t buy it.

        • Peter DeWolf says:

          Doesn’t that strike you as kind of sad?

        • Giadha says:

          I found one …took me a really really really long time, but they are out there…It’s so easy to overlook any one of those 20, and when you do overlook ANY of them, you truly are in trouble. It’s one thing for your guy to have a bad day, and another for you to make excuses for him…I wasted a lot of time with guys with whom I had to make the effort, not the other way around, guys who would put me down, just to make themselves feel better in comparison, or guys that I had to fight with to get them to spend time with me. I have made excuses for these guys all my life, until I stumbled onto the person I am with now, and I swear there is not a day where I am not floored by that. I had completely given up and was seriously demoralized at the prospect of having to settle – I thought everyone did in some way. Maybe it’s not about the right guy, but about the guy who is right for you. If you are not sure about him now, he probably is not the right one for you.

          • W. says:

            They exist. I’m dating one. He is in LOVE with me and everyone knows it. I don’t know how the hell I ever tried to date anyone else– all my relationships before this one were like 3 months tops because I WILL NOT be treated poorly. Finally at 27 I’ve met someone who treats me the way my Dad treats my Mom… He set a great example.

    • Kelly L says:

      Eleni – I didn’t think they did either, and I was the biggest skeptic of all time… until I found one. They’re out there, I swear to God. And they’re totally worth waiting for.

    • Absolutely does. Without a doubt.

    • Cyriano says:

      They really do exist but very hard to come by cos they not like the other guy who will let his presence felt among the crowd so ladies dont notice them when they cross paths with one….Hence, the twenty first century lady only goes after outer rather than inner ones.

  3. Katie says:

    #7. BAM!

    • Peter DeWolf says:


      That has always baffled me. (And this applies to women deciding between dudes too.)

      If he isn’t sure at first, and doesn’t make you a priority from the start, that seems like a sign to me.

  4. HarleyJQ says:

    YES. But when I say it apparently I’m being smug because I have someone like that and “you got the last one!” as if I stole him off the Last Chance To Buy shelf.

    Maybe it’ll sound less smug coming from a man…

  5. Ashalah says:

    I can’t believe I’m actually admitting this, but I think I might have finally taken your advice. Knock on some serious pieces of wood.

    OK you can wipe that smug look off your face and stop patting yourself on the back now.

  6. Heather says:

    This is fantastic! Great job, Peter! Even ladies need to be reminded sometimes :)

  7. GFM says:

    Yup, you NAILED it.

  8. Melissa says:

    Seriously love this post. I hope one day I can find someone who does all of this… It sounds really great & almost unbelievable, but in that good way that makes me want to keep looking until I find it. :)

  9. kristin says:

    I love this. So much. Makes me keep dreaming.

  10. grace says:

    I ruled out a guy this last weekend for many of these reasons. I love that I now have this lovely list to continue to remind me. I am sending this to all of my friends regardless of gender. Thank you, Peter.

  11. Gina says:

    Amen! To ALL of this! :D

  12. Arielle says:

    Good lord this is a timely list. I’ve shed a lot of tears over the last 3 days because of #7. And 1, 2 and 18. Damn.

  13. Annie says:

    He exists! When I was least expecting it, he showed up, and we’re getting hitched this September!

  14. kelly says:

    Peter, you are expert at telling me things I need to hear, but maybe don’t want to. Well said.

  15. Cait says:

    This is awesome. And luckily for me, I smiled a lot every time I read one that applied to my boyfriend (which was nearly every one). Men like this really do exist.

  16. Juanita says:

    Thank you for writing this. I’ve been telling my daughter the same thing for years, but you wrote it just right. I’ve been married for 27 years to a man who worships the ground I walk on and I tell him and show him how much I love that every chance I get, which makes him love me even more. And no, I was not lucky to have find him I just refused to settle for anything less.

  17. Krys says:

    I love this. & at the risk of sounding like a sap, it makes me feel really lucky to have the boyfriend I do.

  18. sarahdotcom says:

    It’s early, but I just put a checkmark beside every one. You rock, Pete-ah.

  19. suki says:

    based on some of the other comments, i consider myself very lucky. :D

  20. Brilliant, Peter! And, based on your list, I most definitely married the right man!

  21. fromtheworld says:

    I like this list a lot, of course, taking it with some flexibility. None is perfect and expecting that the person we love or we are together will look at us always like we are the last french fry on Earth may lead to some very large disappointment when this doesn’t happen. However, I had let some people I liked a lot treating me very badly and I do agree with you that respect is the first thing to be deserved in any kind of relationship (friendship, family interaction, or romantic relationship). I should definitively print this list and stick it to my fridge, so that next time I will meet someone who doesn’t treat me as I deserve, I will be reminded to walk away from him.


  22. Marie Nicole says:

    Hey! I think I married that guy! You can add to the list: “Will never ask you to clean out the shower drain.” That one is my favorite way of how he tells me he loves me… aaawwww!

  23. Kez says:

    THAT. IS. IT.
    Thankyou :)

  24. reading this list and thinking about my man is making me realize how damn lucky i am.

    you hit the nail on the head with this one – words to live by.

  25. This is such a great list! And reading it makes me thankful that I’ve walked away from guys whose behaviors were in contrast to the behaviors you described in this list.

    Great post, Peter!

  26. @girlfrmmars says:

    I don’t usually subscribe to stuff like this, but this is a great post: 20 pieces of advice for women about men http://t.co/KYgKzwla

  27. Laurie says:

    Dude. I love you. Ha! I’m just catching up on some of these (new-ish reader).

  28. @smashbook says:

    I found one. @TheBiggie85 http://t.co/8zOfVOxz cc @peterdewolf

  29. @okVillage says:

    20 pieces of advice for women about men http://t.co/x0OVSP252z

  30. @Lyddiegal says:

    20 pieces of advice for women about men http://t.co/VCcS8HAG8d via @peterdewolf (this is a good list. don’t ever settle for less.)

  31. I love this list. And, as a woman, it makes me want to step up to the plate and be more like this. Great list. Very inspiring.

  32. i can’t ever reread or retweet this enough: 20 pieces of advice for women about men http://t.co/Ve3LobH9wA via @peterdewolf

  33. Yes! RT @kristinblakely i can’t ever reread or retweet this enough: advice for women about men http://t.co/m4wKnFrE5Y via @peterdewolf

  34. RT @elenizoe: Yes! RT @kristinblakely i can’t ever reread or retweet this enough: advice for women about men http://t.co/m4wKnFrE5Y via @peterdewolf

  35. Awesome. RT @kristinblakely: Can’t reread or retweet enough: 20 pieces of advice for women about men http://t.co/8Mpl2SexjS via @peterdewolf

  36. Unlucky says:

    Ah what wonderful advice, thank you for writing this. I absolutely agree with you and think that surely you must be the most cherished husband/partner alive :)

  37. Maja says:

    EVERYTHING is TRUE!!! Guys like this do exist, I wish I didn’t agree with this, but from personal experience I know its completely true. It so freaking sad and unfortunate that i know this.

  38. Dominic says:

    What I would like to see is the female list. Because men are people too. We want much different things than women do.

  39. ros says:

    My gosh, if only!!
    Reading this actually made me a little sad… but then I read some comments from women saying they had indeed found their perfect guy. So in the meantime my faith in men has been restored just a little more. Genuine, loving, and respectful men do exist after all!

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