So, two years after everyone else did their “100 Things” jobbie, I am dipping my toe in that pool.
I am not a trend setter.
I am not even a trend follower.
I’m apparently something of a trend archeologist.
Here is my list, suckas:
1) Yes, this is really my name.
2) No, I actually haven’t been picked on very much about it.
3) When I stand up from my chair and stretch my arms up, my fingers hit the (eight foot) ceiling.
4) I had a cat named “Lippy” that I adored when I was a kid.
5) I named him “Lippy” because of the way he drank milk with his tongue.
6) I wasn’t an overly bright kid.
7) I stole Lippy from my great aunt who lived a few houses away. (This, oddly enough, didn’t lead to a life of crime. Yet.)
8) When I was a kid, I thought that “making ends meet” was actually “making end’s meat” and that it was a recipe for poor people.
9) I figured that it involved spam in some way.
10) Also when I was a kid, I saw a want ad for someone to do “some light house work.” I read it as “some lighthouse work” and figured that they would have a hard time finding someone with such specialized experience.
11) I would probably like to get married some day.
12) Ideally this would take place in Vegas. (An open-mind to the possibility of getting married in Vegas is a definite selling point in a potential wife.)
13) If I HAD to have a traditional wedding, I’d want to enter to Nazareth’s “Hair of the Dog” playing very loudly.
14) I have a favourite fork and try to use it at as many meals as humanly possible.
15) I’ve never seen FORREST GUMP.
16) I never will.
17) Until recently, I described broccoli as “the dealie with the little green trees.”
18) I am not big on veggies.
19) I’ve never, ever cheated on a girlfriend.
20) Many people don’t believe #19.
21) I once convinced Sir Ian McKellen to e-mail my girlfriend at the time for her birthday.
22) I take LONG showers.
23) I occasionally find myself singing/rapping all of the lyrics to Ice T’s “Colors,” from the 1988 movie of the same name, despite the fact that I haven’t heard the song in many years.
24) When I played high school basketball, that was the song that we entered the gym to, despite the fact that we were the whitest team ever that didn’t appear in the movie HOOSIERS.
25) Dennis Hopper directed COLORS and starred in HOOSIERS. Which, admitttedly has very little to do with me. But, I knew that fun fact.
26) If I am going to keep this up, 100 things might not be nearly enough.
27) Years ago I tried to convince the people that publish Archie comics that I should write for them. I never heard back. Fuckers.
28) I love having pancakes for dinner.
29) I feel naked without a baseball cap on.
30) And not in a fun way.
31) I haven’t vomitted since November 18, 1988.
32) It was my birthday. I missed out on seeing the Harlem Globetrotters.
33) I was the National Security Advisor under Richard Nixon.
34) I pioneered the policy of détente with the Soviet Union.
35) I sometimes forget that I’m not Henry Kissinger.
36) I originally planned to take this a bit seriously.
37) I am never, ever satisfied with my blog – especially not the writing contained therein.
38) I have a crush on Giada from “Everyday Italian” on the cooking channel.
39) I have a MySpace account. I am still unclear as to what the point of it is. Yet, I think that everyone should add me as a friend.
40) When I refer to a woman as “cute,” I mean it as a big compliment.
41) When I refer to a woman as a “chick,” I mean that she is cool enough to have earned that title.
42) I LOVE 80s music. (I am listening to Big Country’s “In a Big Country” even as I type this.)
43) I have a t-shirt that says, “Have you hugged my t-shirt today?” Yet, I’m not big on receiving hugs.
44) I also have a long-sleeved white T that says, “Peter’s Hotdogs – If it isn’t 12 inches, it isn’t a Peter”
That’s enough for now.